This is It

Shout out to The Greatest.

There's not much to say that hasn't already been said. The King is gone, but the love and happiness he spread will flood the Earth for eternity. We adore you more than ever Mike. Rest in Peace.

Let's End Global Hunger the Right Way....

Shout Out to Ramen.

Much appreciation to you my friend, for your noodles have surely saved countless college students around the world from the Hands of Starvation.....Mastering the art of convenience and price, you have helped many overcome the tragic symptoms of "broke-nigger-syndrome", a formidable deterrent that has the potential of pandemic. As I savor your lack of taste, I smile because your shallow value only cost me a couple nickels I found in the laundry room the other day......

Your Future is Bright!

Shout out to College Bums.

I'm talkin bout them niggas that know damn well they aint students, but are livin such worthless lives that they got nothing better to do than walk around campus disgracing the hell out of the negro race. I'ma just let yall bum niggas know, the females aint feelin you and your eight-years-outa-high-school-but-still-wearin-the-same-4xL-gear style too much bruh. I'm just helpin yall out, brutha to brutha. And yah, old white dudes do it on occasion too, but they're usually just pshycotic rapists stalking their next score of females to dismantle their womanhood, so they don't really count......

One Small Step on the Face......

Shout out to La Luna.

How chill is the moon. Sitting in the constant shadow of big brother, homie gets like no respect sitting out there in the cut of gravitational orbit. I mean think about it. With personal responsibility for ocean tide, werewolves, astronauts, and the personal fav, moonlight walks on the beach{insert smiley face for the succeeding events}, he deserves just a bit of appreciation don't ya think? So, much love to the crusty faced, pre-teen, ever-changing, asteroid wannabe reject out there. I'm out like eclipse.....

I Need to Go on a Diet......

Shout out to Cannibals.

I'm literally waiting for the day that the cookbook, "Human Flesh: the Other Other White Meat" is published so I can go cop that bad boy on the low-low. I've been searchin for a nice recipe of steamed kneecap with a side of baby feet for like a good minute, but havn't been able to find a decent one anywhere. Do you know how boring back-of-the-neck sandwiches can be every freakin day? Of course you don't. Ah, well. Maybe I'll just go for a salad.....

Found It!!!!

Megs 4 Life.......

Shout out to Cousin Skeeter.

Ok, though this was one of my official throwback joints circa 1993, largely because of the wifey Meagan puttin in work as a pre-teen honey.....I now find a lot of things wrong with the concept of this show. Let me know, because I might not be informed, but since when have niggas been stupid enough to be down with a puppet for a relative. I'm thinkin this entire show is a perspective of all them trippin off somethin together. And, why did they make his COTTON hair so nappy bruh? Its like on another level of thickness. Finally, homeboy has the word "Skeet" in his name, which was why the classic Nick hit, Doug, was cancelled on the low-low. (Double Side-Shout out to the name Patty Mayonnaise...I mean, come on.)

One of the Most Irrelevant Derivatives.....

Shout out to Bootleg Flicks.

Am I the only one who actually enjoys the synthetic ambiance of a downgrade? The funny thing is that I don't see much of a difference between here and there, ya know. I mean, hearing people laughing in the background from the same jokes i've chuckled at actually makes me feel like i'm right there in the crowd. I don't even get mad when some fat woman gets up in front of the camera to take her bada** kid outside for a whoopin. And, who cares about the grainy quality anyway....it's just as if it was my fault that I got to the theatre late and had to sit way in the back next to the homie that's gettin domed up for the first time in his life. Shoot, all I gotta do is pop some corn, dim the lights, stick some gum on my kicks, and I got the full theatre experience......

Before the Beginning......

Shout out to Man's Precedence.

Real talk, like how freakin bored was the man upstairs before all this human race jazz went down? I mean He is and forever has been right....just imagine. Sitting in the void of perfect darkness for an hour would be boring beyond belief, homie was doing if for God knows how long. I can bet money the Lord was like the ultimate O.G. up there freestylin and what not to pass the time. That's how he came up with so many dope ideas for the creation of all creations. If he woulda added a few bars here and there to the Holy Book i'm sure alot more people would be more interested in reading. Imagine all the samples.....

Death has a Soundtrack.......

Shout out to Charlie Clouser's Hello Zepp.

Formally known as that end track in the Saw films where the infinity of twists always comes together. In anticipation for the latest addition coming to theaters soon (nah, I aint gettin a stack to promote, though I should) I been watchin some of the past films and yo, real talk, this joint is dope creepy. Aside from it's association with all those self-enhanced death traps, the composure really is actually done quite well. After coppin it, go head and take yourself in a dark room and let this thing ride. I swear that pig mask bout to make an appearance any second.....

Hit up the Sample.

Or illegaly download here....

The World in a Box

Shout out to Youtube.

Yet another unusual addition to modern facets of global takeover. Besides toilet paper and comfortable shoes, I'd have to say Youtube is one of the most under-appreciated tools we have today, simply because it negates so many other boredom savers. Bump buyin anything; cds, tv shows, even whole movies be stayin alive on this joint. And, surely any video clip that has been worthy of actually being made is somewhere in this condensed universe. From a dog that plays the tuba to compilations of tripping grandmas, and the first music video ever made to homemade tapings of a first baby's' birth.....peep just about anything with the click of a button. Ima warn yall right now though, watch yaself cause mind control is on the rise, ya dig........

Caught on Tape.....

Back Then it Was Just To Get By.....

Shout out to Black Star.

I honestly can't believe I forgot how ill these niggas used to be. Unknown to the general hip-hop audience, which are also referred to as "dumb", the homies Talib Kweli and Mos Def formed their own tag team back in the late 90s and dropped the self-titled album on the plates of anonymous fans everywhere. Though the not-so-super group failed to make a substantial venture together, dudes still put in work. I mean, back then niggas rapped like they were tryin to eat, ya feel me. With Mos' legendary flow and Talib bringin diction straight outta Webster's, there's really no way you can go wrong......

Peep they style....

....And friend, Common Sense.

Talk about Features....

How Fashionably Inconsistent.....

Shout out to This Picture.

Ima just go head and label this one right here, Tunnel Vision. Aside from adding some sort of unusual complementary factor, I don't really need to explain how or why this image is so dope. I mean chick is completely bringin' a new flavor to all these played out hoodies in circulation. Its a known fact that most of the heat emitted from our bodies comes from the head.....so who needs pants? And, though that hood is reminiscent of some ol' HP Dementor/ Grim Reaper joint, I can't help but think there is one fine honey behind that semi-robe there. So, i'm wishin this new fashion revolution into the potential transition to fame cause it's bout time to switch the style up. I'm out like half her wardrobe.......

Spongebob Aint Got Shizzy On Me....

Shout out to Football Head & Company.

Hey Arnold! is defined as, where TV animation meets perfection. Arguably the greatest weekday cartoon of all time, the show literally led to Nick's future downturn because it was that muthaluvin' good. I mean it was so entertaining I can't even recall why. All I remember is somethin' about a dope a** granny who new kung-fu, weird interacial luvin' between the homie Gerald and that smart asian chick, Helga and her uni-brow spending hours in a shrine of chewed bubblegum and closet dust, one episode bout a kid who miraculously survived thirteen years of scoliosis on his front porch, and the most incredible bedroom at the top of a boarding house i've ever seen. Where has all this gone? It's a distant memory that kids these days will never have the fortune of knowing.......

*Shout out to PBS' six yr. old ardvark for coming in at a close second......

Retro Ev......

Spontaneous Head Explosion

Shout out to Snipers.

I'm sure the eleven days of isolation, with no movement, sleep, or food, combined with 98 degree weather, stale a** breath, and self-defecation are all well worth the satisfaction of putting a bullet hole the size of fist through that nigga you've been restlessly stalking like the homie from No Country For Old Men (cop that joint). Unfortunately, after compromising your mission cause a slight gust of wind threw the trajectory a half inch off.....well i'm not sure how happy you gonna be with that week old doo-doo in ya cameos.

If I Aint Got You....Then There's a Problem

Shout out to My Oh, My Oh, My Boooo.

Aliciaaaaa....Why girl, why? I really don't even know when all this happened, but you got me like for real. I mean yall remember when she was straight gangsta with them tight a** braids, baggy denim, and what not. For a minute I thought you were lesbo all day. Well ever since she done switched the style up, but kept that tantalizingly deep, raspy voice, my list of super honey's has reserved a special place for you my love. All ima say, is she just that fine aight. She fine in so many ways.....smh. When I make my millions, dinner and a movie on me baby. Maybe coffee at my place afterwards.....Aight, skip the coffee. I'm out like them throwback cornrows.....

Are Yall Seeing This????

Thanks For the Dedication Lovely....

They're Basically Pubes....

Shout out to Ponytails.

I have a question. Who was the perv to stare at the rear end of a horse long enough and enjoy the relative hair back there so much that they decided to convince their lover to style themselves in the same fashion? Whoever he is I hope he became a professional negotiator because he could surely pursued someone to do nearly anything. And, what up with his preference? Have you not noticed how awesome a squirrel's tail is bruh.... Also, for all you chicks who might wear your ponytail to the side, either recognize it's not the 70's or accept the fact that I will make fun of you....

*Sidenote, where exactly does a horse tail grow out of anyway?

When I Meet This Kid It's Over.....

Shout out to Another White Kid I Hate.

I wont get too much into this because it's pretty self-explanatory. Just go head and peep this vid below so we can have something in common.....

I just want to hit him....One Time.

How Emo of Me.....

Shout out to the One that Got Away.

Yah, we all have 'em. That missed opportunity with someone we considered too special to simply forget. So, let's all take a minute to once again reminisce about how badly we failed and loathe in our own shallow pool of self-pity.......Alright, enough of that. There's literally billions n' trillions of fish in the sea people. And, who knows where and who you might reunite with in the future, right? So, much love to you baby. You've successfully reserved some space in my eternal memory, but you aint gon' be the only one. Time for a swim......

My Pit Stain is Shaped Like a Teddy Bear

Shout out to Deodorant.

Thank you for procrastinating my funk. I've literally gone days without bathing and still remained newborn baby fresh with the help of Right Guard and his associates. Also, little known secret for all the fellas out there.....wear the chick kind. That Dove go hard bruh. Besides, you know how they give us those crusty solid bars that, if you put too much on, clump up like the turd droppings that get stuck in all that booty hair elephants have and falls down to their tail as well. Ah, wait, now i've lost my train of thought........

*Side note, if you actually wear girls' deodorant you officially give me the permission to call you a homo...

It's the Year of the Dragon.....

Shout out to Bruce Lee a.k.a. The Ultimate Bada**

King Kong aint got nuthin on me; that's all I can say about the man, the myth, the legend known as Bruce Lee. His rise to fame through classics such as Fist of Fury, Enter the Dragon, and Game of Death was inevitable as he displayed the greatest skills of numerous martial arts the world will ever see. And, the 5'7 homie wasn't just an act. Legend has it the last thing you saw before you died was the infamous one-piece yellow jumpsuit in all its spandex like glory. Like, real talk, i'm pretty sure if Bruce fought a grown male gorilla on steroids he'd come out unscathed. Sucks we lost him so early because once they've figured out cloning, dude would have been the solution to ending the war in Iraq.....

Make Sure You Do Your Homework

If You Don't Know Now You Know....

And, For the Win....

*Side shout out to that wierd Huwah!! noise, or however it goes.....

#2 On the List of America's Most Disgraceful

Shout out to Rednecks.

I mean, I definately gotta have one of those full body camoflauge wedding dresses for the wifey cause she needs something special to add with her uncombed lady mullet, trash-bin tennis shoes, and that off brand silver bling I bought her for only a nickel in that fancy future-like machine they got when you walkin' out the Kmart. "Baby, can you iron my sleevless, checkered confederate flag button-up while I go over to Bubba's trailer to see if I can find my John Deer cap?? Oh, and I ran over dinner this mornin so after you're done go out to the truck and grab that thang out the truck willya? But, be careful of them porch monekys next door they like to come out at night cause' they noxturtle. Love you too Bertha....."

Southern Bred Inventors Incorporated.

Nowhere Will Recieve Thee....

Shout out to Track #4 of Lupe Fiasco's The Cool.

Homie this is your masterpiece. The secondary ballad of a fallen hustler runs epically against the sounds of an angelic backdrop. A rythmic flow and hardened delivery set the tone for what is more than just some ordinary track; Lu made this a song. But, it's more than a song. This is my anthem nigga. The personfication of urban motifs not only tends to have fun with your creative mind, but actually brings substance in ways that only the elite poets have the ability to create. So, my Chi-Town brethren I appreciate it and

FNF up......

Take a Listen

....Or Cop it Here

Paper Bags Are a Girls Best Friend

Shout out to ButterFaces.

Yo, what a waste huh? I mean either be fine or be ugly already; that way I can easily decide what I want to do with you. Yes, your fun-bags are amazing on that tight little body, but girl your entire head looks like a freakin' Carrot Top/ Helga Pataki hybrid. I really can't continue any longer to elaborate on such a shame, but eh, everybody's face looks good with the lights off right? So baby, do like the vampire, and see me after dark....

*Let it be known....Fergie could still get it homie, uh, yezzir....

The Tears of Unfathomable Sadness

Shout out to South Park's Pyscho Baby.

A.k.a the Scott Tenorman Must Die Episode. A.k.a the epitamy of what is considered F$#%! up. In other words, this episode defines the horror portrayed throughout the entire animated series itself Mmmkay. Lemme just break this joint down for you aight. Cartman buys pubes, tries to get his money back, but loses even more so he creates a mastermind sequence that involves having his nemesis' parents shot and killed, him cutting them up, and cooking them for a chili competition in which he tricks Scott into eating and enjoying, only to call him out in front of the entire town and his favorite band who calls him a p***y and as he cries at the realization that he's digesting mom and dad, Cartman goes ahead and licks the running tears from his cheek calling them "yummy and sweet". Two thumbs up but this nigga might eat em.....

What I couldn't do for you....

You Serve....I'll Hit

Shout out to Volleyball Chicks.

How suggestive are those kneepads...It's as if being a cutie with long legs and ever so workable ba-donkey has become a standard among what I consider to be a top-tier sport in the ratio of fine honey's to imitation dudes with boobies. Rockin' them classic booty shorts and delicate ponytails keeps me wantin you to take the hardcore ball spiking and superman dives into the bedroom, yet still be willing to cuddle afterwards. So, much love to the feminine elite; I have sampled your kind and I tell you, Me Likey. I'm out like sidelines.....

Way to Step Up There Melissa.....

*Side shout of for those of you who like to do it on the beach, you know what im sayin....

Moral Kombat

Shout out to James Frey's A Million Little Pieces.

Every human being capable of interpreting literature should surely add this to the fav shelf of their library. The heart-wrenching, graphic memoir of a victim who struggles with numerous addictions in all the worst ways will toss the mind of any sober individual into a void of despair, loneliness, pain, and the hopeless battle to survive the physical and mental torment of a true addict. The semi narrative format also provides a perspective not often seen which is to utilize deep meaning as it relates to a simple, real world scene of vulgarity and grief. Though, if you know anything about the author, he's officially on Oprah's merc list.......

Cop It For the Low Low...