I Ate Too Much Gravy

Shout out to the Post-Thanksgiving Dump.

As I spread thine blessed buttcheeks over said glistening porcelain receptical, I begin to reminisce on the true essence of national turkey day. The savage rape of a native land and utter domination of the white man's magic boom sticks is overshadowed by the fact that at some point there was some corn shared and Thomas Irvansmithenwood banged the chief's daughter on the Mayflower after supper, creating an everlasting bond of "civility" between the fair and brownskinned.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Majorium Erectus!!!

Shout out to Real Life Hermione.

Emma Watson singlehandedly had a brutha severely aroused for the majority of last nights Harry Potter : Deathly Hollows midnight screening. And, while the theater ran bountiful in hot teen wannabees, flaunting delish mini skirts and striped ties, somehow Emma's simplistic hottness and humble stare of lustful desire still had a nigga fiendin for some magic, pun intended.

Leave Me Be

Shout out to All Hopelessness.

I slowly awoke this morning with sadness in my heart and depression personified making an attempt to overcome my mind. In other words...life sucks. No more questions. I don't wanna talk about it.

Face Sweater

Shout out to All Naturale.

It's no shave November so toss those clippers, shavers, all that. Let nature take it's course among your face, from stuble to vine, a transformation is taking place. So while the adolescent thrive among our post-puberty growth suffering, enjoy it we accept. For soon you'll have said cursed pubes, till then you are safe kept.

.....ahhhh poetry.

Whoah......

Shout out to Spoonie Luv.

A resident of Southside Yankersville and all around playa playa, Doctor Luv epitomizes the sexual deviance of a true romantic. Cascading his adorably thick man breasts across the screen, blanketed by a fashion forward leapard skin garb, Spoonie captivates us with his earnest words, spiced by the sensuality of a promiscuous whisper. But, homie is quite picky ladies....specifically a hot puppet honey with strong knees, C-section scar, and a badonkadonk butt. Them double horizontals need a good home....

Talent Wanted.....
Don't Use that BBQ Sauce!

Back to A Topic...

Shout out to J. Cole's "Friday Night Lights"

Bravo, Jermaine. Bravo. It is not often that hip hop, let alone a mixtape, can be so soulfully smooth and real, that it's almost given me wood halfway through the tracklist. Featuring the expansive list of boss producers including Kanye, Omen, and Syience, J's newly-released brain child blends the composition of today with the lost art of storytelling that once dominated the realm of dope rhyme spittas from yesteryear. So as your exclusive membership in the clubhouse of rap revitalization hits another tab on the bill, I congratulate thee sir. Radio niggas can still suck it though....

Don't Shop It, Just Cop It....

Livin for the Citaaaaay

Shout out to Urbanity.

Yes, it's a word. The accumulation of graffiti laced, crack-fiend inhabited, suit in the slum, fast-paced, pot-hole street life is where diversity truly exists. No where else will you see a supposed Buddhist monk on the corner preaching inner-peace, while also selling homemade pamphlets to satisfy his PCP addiction.....And, while it becomes habit to walk way faster than necessary (usually because a homeless man has been following you since 5th ave) it's a reminder that we're all either going somewhere....or nowhere.

What's not to love?
Santa Beats a Black Man
Look Both Ways
Beat His Ahhh!!

Encore! Encore!

Shout out to Revival.

If it wasn't for Jesus getting done dirty, sacrificing himself, then rising from the dead to say "eh bruh, aint no killin me", this would single handedly be the greatest return to ever satisfy the needs of a struggling humanity. Inspired by the relish of my former compositions and the necessary outlet that my brain child once was...the UnCoolest Nigga has returned, in all his dopeness. So without further adoodoo, I present to you the one, the only, anticlimactic comeback of GlobalStageHand....